General Billy Mitchell - Father of the US Air Force

General Billy Mitchell - Father of the US Air Force Billy Mitchell - Early Life Career: The son of wealthy Senator John L. Mitchell (D-WI) and his wife Harriet, William Billy Mitchell was born on December 28, 1879 at Nice, France. Educated in Milwaukee, he later enrolled at Columbian College (present-day George Washington University) in Washington, DC. In 1898, prior to graduating, he enlisted in the US Army with the goal of fighting in the Spanish-American War. Entering the service, Mitchells father soon used his connections to obtain his son a commission. Though the war ended before he saw action, Mitchell elected to remain in the US Army Signal Corps and spent time in Cuba and the Philippines. Billy Mitchell - An Interest in Aviation: Sent north in 1901, Mitchell successfully built telegraph lines in remote areas of Alaska. During this posting, he began studying Otto Lilienthals glider experiments. This reading, combined with further research, led him to conclude in 1906 that future conflicts would be fought in the air. Two years later, he witnessed a flying demonstration given by Orville Wright at Fort Myer, VA. Sent to the Army Staff College, he became the only Signal Corps Officer on the Army General Staff in 1913. As aviation was assigned to the Signal Corps, Mitchell was well placed to further develop his interest. Associating with many early military aviators, Mitchell was made deputy commander of the Aviation Section, Signal Corps in 1916. At age 38, the US Army felt that Mitchell was too old for flying lessons. As a result, he was forced to seek private instruction at the Curtiss Aviation School in Newport News, VA where he proved a quick study. When the US entered World War I in April 1917, Mitchell, now a lieutenant colonel, was en route to France as an observer and to study aircraft production. Traveling to Paris, he established an Aviation Section office and began connecting with his British and French counterparts. Billy Mitchell - World War I: Working closely with the Royal Flying Corps General Sir Hugh Trenchard, Mitchell learned how to develop aerial combat strategies and plan large-scale air operations. On April 24, he became the first American officer to fly over the lines when he rode with a French pilot. Quickly earning a reputation as a daring and tireless leader, Mitchell was promoted to brigadier general and given command of all American air units in General John J. Pershings American Expeditionary Force. In September 1918, Mitchell successfully planned and orchestrated a campaign using 1,481 Allied aircraft in support of ground forces during the Battle of St. Mihiel. Gaining air superiority over the battlefield, his aircraft aided in driving back the Germans. During his time in France, Mitchell proved a highly effective commander, but his aggressive approach and unwillingness to operate in the chain of command made him numerous enemies. For his performance in World War I, Mitchell received the Distinguished Service Cross, the Distinguished Service Medal, and several foreign decorations. Billy Mitchell - Air Power Advocate: Following the war, Mitchell expected to be placed in command of the US Army Air Service. He was blocked in this goal when Pershing named Major General Charles T. Menoher, an artilleryman, to the post. Mitchell instead was made Assistant Chief of the Air Service and was able to retain his wartime rank of brigadier general. A relentless advocate for aviation, he encouraged US Army pilots to challenge records as well as promoted races and ordered aircraft to aid in fighting forest fires. Convinced that air power would become the driving force of war in the future, he pressed for the creation of an independent air force. Mitchells vocal support of air power brought him into conflict with the US Navy as he felt the ascent of aviation made the surface fleet increasingly obsolete. Convinced that bombers could sink battleships, he argued that aviation should be the US first line of defense. Among those he alienated was Assistant Secretary of the Navy Franklin D. Roosevelt. Failing to achieve his goals, Mitchell became increasingly outspoken and attacked his superiors in the US Army, as well as the leadership of the US Navy and White House for failing to understand the importance of military aviation. Billy Mitchell - Project B: Continuing to agitate, Mitchell managed in February 1921 to convince Secretary of War Newton Baker and Secretary of the Navy Josephus Daniels to hold joint Army-Navy exercises in which his aircraft would bomb surplus/captured ships. Though the US Navy was reluctant to agree, it was compelled to accept the exercises after Mitchell learned of their own aerial testing against ships. Believing that he could succeed in wartime conditions, Mitchell also held that a thousand bombers could be built for the price of one battleship making aviation a more economical defense force. Dubbed Project B, the exercises moved forward in June and July 1921 under a set of rules of engagement that greatly favored the survivability of the ships. In the early tests, Mitchells aircraft sank a captured German destroyer and light cruiser. On July 20-21, they attacked the German battleship Ostfriesland. While the aircraft did sink it, they violated the rule of engagement in doing so. In addition, the circumstances of the exercises were not wartime conditions as all of the target vessels were stationary and effectively defenseless. Billy Mitchell - Fall from Power: Mitchell repeated his success later that year by sinking the retired battleship USS in September. The tests incensed President Warren Harding who wished to avoid any show of naval weakness immediately prior to the Washington Naval Conference, but did lead to increased funding for military aviation. Following a protocol incident with his naval counterpart, Rear Admiral William Moffett, at the beginning of the conference, Mitchell was sent overseas on an inspection tour. Returning to the US, Mitchell continued to criticize his superiors regarding aviation policy. In 1924, the commander of the Air Service, Major General Mason Patrick, sent him on a tour of Asia and the Far East to remove him from the limelight. During this tour, Mitchell foresaw a future war with Japan and predicted an aerial attack on Pearl Harbor. That fall, he again blasted the Army and Navy leadership, this time to the Lampert Committee. The following March, his term of Assistant Chief ended and he was exiled to San Antonio, TX, with the rank of colonel, to oversee air operations. Billy Mitchell - Court Martial: Later that year, following the loss of the US Navy airship USS , Mitchell issued a statement accusing the militarys senior leadership of almost treasonable administration of the national defense and incompetence. As a result of these statements, he was brought up on court-martial charges for insubordination at the direction of President Calvin Coolidge. Beginning that November, the court-martial saw Mitchell receive broad public support and notable aviation officers such as Eddie Rickenbacker, Henry Hap Arnold, and Carl Spaatz testified on his behalf. On December 17, Mitchell was found guilty and sentenced to a five-year suspension from active duty and loss of pay. The youngest of the twelve judges, Major General Douglas MacArthur, called serving on the panel distasteful, and voted not guilty stating that an officer should not be silenced for being at variance with his superiors in rank and with accepted doctrine. Rather than accept the punishment, Mitchell resigned on February 1, 1926. Retiring to his farm in Virginia, he continued to advocate for air power and a separate air force until his death on February 19, 1936. Selected Sources National Museum of the US Air Force: Brigadier General William Billy MitchellUS Army: William Billy MitchellEarly Aviators: Billy Mitchell

Qualitative Research Designs Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Qualitative Designs - Research Paper Example As a way of seeking to provide an example of just such a piece, this brief analysis will consider the given article, analyze it for its utilization of quantitative techniques, and seek to detail the type and manner of the content which was portrayed therein. The research question itself clearly has to do with the level of linkages that may be illustrated between the use of antidepression medication and an increased likelihood of suicide; something that has gained widespread media attention in the past several years. With reference to the way that the research itself was actually set up and carried out, the authors of the piece sought to set up a series of test which sought to measure the epidemiological affect that antidepressants had on the patient; up to and including what the researchers deemed as â€Å"suicidabiliy†. Controls and test groups were established, antidepressant medication administered and trials concentric upon interviews and close monitoring in the form of diary and journal approaches to the frames of mind that the patients expressed during the period were employed. In terms of what was hypothesized, the researchers believed that there would be a small, perhaps unrecognizable increase, of suicidal thoughts withi n the adult patients and a larger, but still statistically small increase in suicidal thoughts within the adolescent test subjects. The study ran a series of 26 different trials of no less than 15 individuals participating in each trial. For further purposes of the study, adults were identified as over the age of 18 with children being represented from the age of 9-18. As the researchers expected, the rise in suicidal thoughts and motivations within the patients that fell into the category of â€Å"adult† were no different than that of the control group. In other words, no noticeable rise in suicidal thoughts or intentions was determined from those patients that were over the age of 18 that participated within

BP (British Petroleum) Refining Strategy in Europe Essay

BP (British Petroleum) Refining Strategy in Europe - Essay Example Many companies that deal in oil refinery use different processes and strategies in order to produce high quality products that can be used in different factory processes and automobiles. In the process of refining (Krippendorff 2013, 82), an oil depot or tank farm has to be located near the oil refinery plant so that storage of the incoming crude stocks can be persevered before being refined as well as the products arising from the refinery process. BP utilises one of the most efficient technology in the refinery field known as Fischer-Tropsch (FT) technology (Singh & Harvey 2010; Hicks &Nelder 2008, 45). According to BP (2013), the technology is crucial in helping the company to convert various feedstocks such as crude residues, heavy crude residues, coal and biomass into clean and quality fuels such as jet fuel, diesel and naphtha. Fischer-Tropsch technology makes refining process efficient and reliable while ensuring production of superior products that passes all performance-related tests used in respective industries (Maitlis & Klerk 2013; Klerk 2011, 17). According to BP (2013), the company is committed to minimising its contribution to greenhouse gases that emanate from its refinery processes. By adopting Fischer-Tropsch technology, the company has greatly minimised pollution arising from poor refining processes (Johansson 1993, 27; Maczulak 2010, 36). The Fischer-Tropsch technology has often been used with much success at BP Refinery in many of the countries that it has been used. The strategy involves various processes like the multi tubular fixed bed reactor. This reactor has various types of tubes that have small diameters with special catalysts surrounded by boiling water that removes the heat of the reaction (Great Britain 2010, 29). This reactor is very suitable when operating at low temperatures with upper limits reaching up to 530 K. The excess temperature arising from the system results in carbon deposition and can block

Leading The Industry Topshop Marketing Essay

Leading The Industry Topshop Marketing Essay Topshop was the most influential brand in the British Fashion community, edging out HM for number one position and dominating all other competitors. They distinguished themselves through their immensely popular range of clothing, accessories and makeup and a portfolio of successful product-led marketing initiatives such as Topshop Unique and Kate Moss Design Collaboration. Topshop integrated multiple marketing initiatives into one connected program creating a network effect which resulted in increased traffic through their sales channels. Our methods We use patented technology and methods from our research partner Linkfluence the world leader in social media analysis. Â  To gauge who is the most influential womans High Street fashion brand in the UK, JOYN analysed all social media activity from the 1000 most influential social websites in the UK Fashion Community published from July to December in 2010. Â  The most relevant opinions were selected, coded and analysed by our team of fashion experts. Unpick the Market Leader The most signficant finding of our research was high quality products and range are the foundation of a successful digital strategy. Almost 70% of all conversations about Topshop directly related to their products, their conventional marketing activities were a fraction of that figure. Top Shops products enjoyed a cult following in the British Fashion Community. Popular lines such as Mainline, Premium, Boutique and Unique position their brand as an astute follower and creator of trends. This resulted in over 115 mentions every month amongst the most influential blogs, online magazines and traditional media, none of which they paid for. Topshops ability to earn enormous media coverage from fans, influential bloggers and online magazines is proof of their position as most influential brand. Topshop Success Stories in 2H 2010: Alluring products London Fashion Week Engage emerging designers Spread marketing investments Author influential blog A Clear Brand Position A key ingredient in any successful brand is a clear and identifiable brand position that people trust and believe. Topshop set out to copy the catwalk, but what they have ended up doing is to develop something that has much more personality and character of its own. With many competing brands all offering fashion and quality at the best price, Topshop differentiate themselves as a fashion-led trendsetter inspired by London youth culture and fashion. An example of the value of taking a stand was Topshop being the only High Street brand showing at London Fashion Week. There commitment to this initiative extends to financially supporting and stocking emerging designers. The support and enthusiasm from the UK Fashion community was huge, Topshop Unique earned over 200 articles within the British Fashion Community reaching a potential audience of millions. Earned media coverage is a proven sales driver and created a halo effect of good-will and credibility to Topshops other ranges. This kind of media is fueled by consumer satisfaction and advocacy, its proof that Topshop have earned their space in their customers hearts. Winning Design Collaboration The Design Collaboration strategy outperformed celebrity endorsement. Topshops long-standing design collaboration with an outspoken and controversial fashion icon successfully drove word of mouth. The Fashion Community wrote 1069 online articles about Topshop between June and December 2010, 217 were in relation to Kate Moss. HM attained similar levels of success. Their designer collaboration with Lanvin attracted 223 articles during this period a fantastic result. However the pressure to go bigger and better requires significant financial investment and carries increased risk. Mango and Uniqlo both pursued a celebrity endorsement strategy which barely registered amoungst key influencers. Their high-profile endorsements from Terry Richardson, Orlando Bloom, Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson and Olivia Palermo were largely ignored. The Kate Moss Collection set the benchmark for success demonstrating the value of authentic design collaborations. What this means for your brand 1. Commit to social media The leading brands are investing in social media because they realise their customers have stopped trusting advertising and are increasingly influenced by online word-of-mouth and customer recommendation. Thanks to the growth of social media, traditional advertising and celebrity endorsement is no longer leading consumers to your door, now, a multitude of bloggers, online magazines and social networks drive sales. This means traditional advertising strategies must be reconsidered, or scrapped to make way for a new understanding of when at what touch points people are most open to influence and how best to talk to them at those points. 2. Use social media research to learn about your customers Evaluating perceptions of your brand in social media will reveal what people are really think about you- good, bad or indifferent. Â  When we looked at Mango we saw their products and marketing failing to capture the imagination of the fashion community a social media listening strategy would have alerted Mango to this problem. Most people assume Google Analytics does this job, but this simple tool only allows you to analyse visitors to your website. The real insights come from listening to the spontaneous conversations happening throughout social media that impact your brand. This can reveal current and potential groups of customers, popular online retailers, product preferences, online influencers and lead users.

The Impact of Technology on Education Essay -- Teaching Education Essa

The Impact of Technology on Education Technology affects every aspect of our lives. From romance to business, it has shown its presence everywhere. But technology has had a huge impact on education that cannot be denied, and has done nothing but improve the quality and quantity of education. Today, schools are being pressured more and more to improve the technology they use and teach in the classrooms. Parents are placing this pressure on schools so that their students have the skills needed to compete in the real world job market. Students are placing pressure on the schools to improve technology by having more knowledge of current technology than the school’s staff. Teachers in turn are placing emphasis on the schools to improve technology they want to increase efficiency of information sharing, grading, and communication in the classroom. Businesses place an emphasis on technology in schools so that the schools adequately prepare their future employees, the students. The government is also placing pressure on schools to improve technology in the classrooms so that Americans can compete, along with helping prepare successful employees to help improve the economy in the future. These pressures are welcomed however, as schools are eager to improve their current use of technology in the classroom. But why are schools so eager to improve their use technology? And why is there so much importance placed on educating today's students with modern technology? The answer is simple: because technology has such a positive impact on education, and in so many ways. In regards to Language Arts education, the prominence of word processors has helped to ease the work of editing and rewriting. Built in spelling ... ...mpus isthe use of WebCT. This web site allows professors to create a source for the course syllabus, lecture notes and course calendar’s to be posted, along with public forums and public chat rooms. WebCT keeps track of what students are enrolled in what courses and when the student logs in, it brings up the information available for that student’s courses, along with notes if anything has been updated since the student’s last visit. All of this is available forLSSU students at their web page. These are examples of how exactly technology has affected education at Lake Superior State University. Technology has had a huge impact on education. It continues to shape the way we learn and what we learn today and in the future. As technology advances, so does the quality of education and that is nothing but good news for the students of today and of the future.

Distance Education Versus Face-to-Face Learning Essay

December 1 , 2009 Persuasive Essay – Game Theories Has Virtual Reality Taken Things Too Far? Distance Education versus Face-to-Face Learning In Clive Thompson’s â€Å"Game Theories†, the author illustrates how virtual worlds, such as Everquest and Second Life, have surprisingly become much like the real world. Everquest is an online virtual reality video game that allows individuals to create fictional characters to â€Å"generate goods as they play, often by killing creatures for their treasure and trading it† (Thompson 332). This has created an economy-like setting in he game but has eventually evolved to leak into the real world economy by exchanging real money for the purchase of virtual characters and their winnings. Thompson’s article shows how the line between virtual reality and real world reality often becomes blurry, encouraging people to consider ways where virtual technology can enhance and possibly replace the current systems already in place. However, not everything done through computers and virtual technology are as effective as one thinks. Sometimes, the traditional way of doing things are perfectly fine and more effective Just the way they are. Distance education, in particular, is a phenomenon that has been a growing popular alternative to traditional face-to-face education. I am here to argue that learning behind a computer at home cannot effectively replace the traditional face- to-face education offered at colleges and universities. Difficulty in self-directed learning and instructional misunderstandings can occur in any online course, a lack of a set schedule allows for distractions and procrastination, non-existent interaction inhibits growth and learning, and the probability of cheating is greater among online tudents versus campus students. Although there are many people who favor the online-learning alternative, this paper will challenge their confidence and counter- arguments on the issue. Distance education can be quite difficult. There are several courses that have concepts that can be quite tricky and complicated to understand, especially if one is learning on their own using a textbook. Shelia Tucker, an assistant professor at East Carolina University, stated that â€Å"students learn far too little when the teacher’s personal presence is not available because the student has far more to learn from he teacher than texts† (par. 2). For example, an accounting teacher can easily explain the advanced calculation of earnings per share and diluted earnings per share through the use of their own methods and organizational charts. Learning the same topic but reading texts from a course book can be quite challenging without a teacher to provide tips and tricks for remembering the formulas. As I am an accounting student aspiring to be a CGA, I am tremendously afraid of entering their factors influencing completion and non-completion of community college online ourses, â€Å"students indicated that online learning did not fit their learning style preference. Comments were received from students that they could not get a response from their instructor, the materials were not available, and the course was confusing† (Aragon & Johnson 155). Because of the difficulty experienced in online courses, â€Å"some community colleges are reporting drop-out rates 20% higher than in face-to- face classrooms† (Aragon & Johnson 146). Another drawback of online learning is the lack of a set schedule. Without a fixed timetable, the opportunity for distractions and procrastination often presents itself. These online courses require motivation and self-discipline to complete the courses and programs in a timely manner. This will be especially hard for those who tend to procrastinate and need the extra push from teachers to complete the work or require constant reminders of assignment due dates and examination dates. Because the online courses are quite flexible, these courses can often be put on the â€Å"backburner†, because the students are aware that some of these courses are self-paced. One major downfall of distance education is non-existent interaction that results from learning and working behind a computer. Communication with the teacher is limited to text correspondences and even replies to the emails may be delayed. Comparing this scenario to a classroom course, questions are answered and uncertainties are clarified immediately after the teacher is asked. There is no personal attention given to students and these learners are expected to find their own resources for completing assignments. Not only is interaction limited with teachers, but interaction with other students is limited as well. Randy S. Hanson, Ph. D. , made a point that the only interaction with classmates are through email, chat ooms and discussion boards. Parties and offline get-togethers [were] rarely experienced among online students (par. 17). In her article about the controversy of distance education, Roda Joanna Abaya asserts that â€Å"students do not learn only on formal and educational conversations. As social beings, it is important that they too interact with others and have informal talks or converse with lighter topics† (par. 8). Another concern that Abaya has about distance education is the lack of hands-on training in online courses (par. 7). Interaction with people and objects are vital in the earning process and because of these missing components in online courses, the effectiveness of education falls short when compared to the traditional face-to-face classes. According to an article about academic honesty in online courses, â€Å"some claim that because students and faculty do not interact directly in such classes, online classes will invite more cheating than traditional classes† (GriJalva, Therese C. et al. par. 2). This is certainly true in that distance education is being carried out at home, away from teacher supervision. Anne Mullens exclaims that â€Å"cheating appears to be ncreasing at universities, especially at the larger campuses and impersonal classes†¦ † (23). In an examination of cheating in both traditional and online criminal justice and legal studies courses, Lanier (2006) found the behavior to be more common in online courses† (Dobbs, Rhonda R. et al 13). Who knows how many students cheat during an online exam, having their books open in front of them while actual student writing the exam? Cheating is unethical and universally wrong but there are many students who cannot help themselves from get ting all the help they can get to score the good grades. There are several counter arguments that can be raised against the thesis of this paper. After â€Å"googling† and researching the pros of distance education, the recurring and most significant point was the flexibility of online courses. There are no set class times and it is the student’s discretion when to complete the assignments and readings so those with busy schedules are able to accommodate education. Stephen Downes states that there is â€Å"more work in the distance ed version†¦ simply because it tries to make up for the lack of any class contact† (par. 1). I have heard students and riends complain about the amount of work required for the online LIBS 7001 course at BCIT, where as the in-class version compares much favorably. With the course load being heavy for online courses, the flexibility to dedicate time to other priorities is hindered with the stress of work to be done for distance education. Some argue that online learning benefits those who requires more time, are language challenged, or are introverted. But on the contrary, it hinders rather than allows growth and learning. Those who require more time will always have that excuse to fall back on. Next thing they know, a year has passed since having started the course. The things learned at the beginning of the on-line class will have been forgotten and time would have been wasted. Those who are foreign students that struggle with the language barrier would benefit much more with an available teacher who is able to give them personal attention and needed help. To leave them on their own, trying to understand the course concepts from a textbook or a set of written notes can leave them overwhelmed and confused. Even those who are shy do not gain any benefit for enrolling in online courses. In fact, it is more of a detriment to their development and knowledge. Attending campuses and universities allows students to interact with classmates, and even encourages group projects to develop team buildings skills for individuals. At BCIT, students are often required to do presentations in front of the class and even in lecture halls. This is because the real world will often put people in similar situations and the training for that is attained easily when attending school on campus. This will also develop individuals’ interpersonal skills, and will help them overcome any shyness they may have. Another counter argument that can be raised is that costs are reduced when taking distance education. Not only are travel costs and commuting time decreased, but the necessary housing costs and meal plans are also saved if one is required to move to campus for attending university. However, the â€Å"cost of training teachers, the cost of hardware and software, human resources such as technicians and other people involved are to be considered, we can say that establishing online education is not as cheap as it may seem for others† (Abaya par. 6). These costs will certainly rickle down to the students, eventually having them pay through the increasing course fees.

Misplaced Modifier - Definitions and Examples

A misplaced modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that doesnt clearly relate to the word or phrase it is intended to modify. In prescriptive grammar, misplaced modifiers are usually regarded as errors. Mark Lester and Larry Beason point out that misplaced modifiers do not make sentences ungrammatical. Misplaced modifiers are wrong because they say something the writer did not intend to say (McGraw-Hill Handbook, 2012). A misplaced modifier can usually be corrected by moving it closer to the word or phrase it should be describing. See Examples and Observations below. Also see: Practice in Avoiding Misplaced Modifiers Examples and Observations Plastic bags are a favorite of grocers because of their price, about 2 cents per bag compared to 5 cents for paper. Used widely since the 1970s, environmentalists now estimate between 500 billion to a trillion bags are produced annually worldwide.(Savannah Morning News, January 30, 2008)â€Å"An hour later a chubby man in a wrinkled suit with pasty skin walked in.†(David Baldacci, The Innocent. Grand Central Publishing, 2012)A Swiss farmer has discovered a huge trove of ancient Roman coins in his cherry orchard. . . .  Weighing around 15kg (33lb), he discovered the coins after spotting something shimmering in a molehill.(BBC News, November 19, 2015)Bank worker tried to film naked women as they lay in tanning booths on his mobile phone.(Headline in the Daily Mail [UK], September 6, 2012)For many people eating spoonfuls of Marmite every day would be their worst nightmare, but for St John Skelton it’s his dream job. . . . Despite being loathed by millions across the worl d, St John can’t get enough of the stuff and eats it almost every day.(Meet the Man Who Earns a Living Eating Marmite. The Sun [UK], April 14, 2012)Princess Beatrice, who is starting a history degree at Goldsmiths College, London, later this year, was photographed running in the surf on the island of St Barts with her American boyfriend Dave Clark dressed in a blue bikini last month.(Sarah, Duchess of York Defends Princess Beatrices Weight Against Rude Critics. The Daily Telegraph [UK], May 13, 2008)April Dawn Peters, 31, of 2194 Grandview Way, in Cosby, [was] arrested Sept. 19, at 10:30 p.m., and charged with aggravated assault after she allegedly hit a man on his head at least five times with a hammer that she was having sex with.(Newport [Tenn.] Plain Talk, September 22, 2012)And when upon your dainty breast I layMy wearied head, more soft than eiderdown.(William Nathan Stedman)They just said its going to rain on the radio.(Tiger comic strip)You are welcome to visit the ce metery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except on Thursdays.(in a guide to a Russian Orthodox monastery)Historians have been kept guessing over claims [that] Dr James Barry, Inspector General of Military Hospitals, was in fact a woman for more than 140 years.(The Daily Telegraph [UK], March 5, 2008)One of three sisters, Hilda’s father was a butcher who ran four shops in Oldham.(Tot of Sherry Keeps Hilda Going! Oldham Evening Chronicle [UK], August 20, 2010)Her only full-time paid employee is a pleasant young woman with a nose ring named Rebecca, who sits at the front desk.(reprinted in The New Yorker)She handed out brownies to children wrapped in Tupperware.(reprinted in The Revenge of Anguished English, by Richard Lederer)After being busted on drug charges in Los Angeles last month, a federal judge will decide on Friday whether to rescind his probation and send the rapper back to prison.(Rapper T.I. Talks Man off Ledge. Slate, October 14 , 2010)Comedian Russell Brand revealed he did have sex with model Sophie Coady during a High Court hearing on Monday.(Russell Brand Confesses in Court . . .. The Daily Mail [UK], December 24, 2013) Safires Bloopie Awards Never has the competition for the Most Egregiously Misplaced Modifier Bloopie been hotter. Among the candidates:Lands End, the Direct Merchants, on their bathing attire: We can fit you in a swimsuit that fits and flatters--right over the phone! The swimsuit flatters over the phone? . . . Better to swing the end of the sentence to the front, where the pronoun to be modified can be found: Right over the phone, we can fit you etc.And heres a juicy one from Minute Maid: Help todays U.S. Olympic Hopefuls become tomorrows Olympic Champions by purchasing Minute Maid Quality Products. Athletes do not become tomorrows champs by purchasing anything; swing the end around to the beginning and attach it to a you: By purchasing . . . you can help etc.The winner in this category? The envelope, please: Its Honda Motor Cars, with its wildly swerving claim, While pleasing to your eye, the air passing over and around the body hardly notices it. Air is not pleasing to your eye; the cars body should come immediately after the modifying phrase. Thus: While pleasing to your eye, the body is hardly noticed by the air passing over and around it. That formulation would not make a whole lot of sense, either, but at least the modifier would be attached to the right noun.(William Safire, On Language: The Bloopie Awards. The New York Times, May 17, 1992) Slippery Modifiers Certain modifiers are slippery; they slide into the wrong position in the sentence. The most dangerous are only, almost, already, even, just, nearly, merely, and always. No: They almost worked five years on that system. Yes: They worked almost five years on that system. In general, these slippery descriptors should appear just before the terms they modify. (E. H. Weiss, 100 Writing Remedies. Greenwood, 1990) James Thurber on the Placement ofOnly Where to use only in a sentence is a moot question, one of the mootest questions in all rhetoric. The purist will say that the expression: He only died last week is incorrect, and that it should be: He died only last week. The purists contention is that the first sentence, if carried out to a natural conclusion, would give us something like this: He only died last week, he didnt do anything else, thats all he did. It isnt a natural conclusion, however, because nobody would say that and if anybody did it would be likely to lead to stomping of feet and clapping of hands, because it is one of those singy-songy expressions which set a certain type of person to acting rowdy and becoming unmanageable. It is better just to let the expression go, either one way or the other, because, after all, this particular sentence is of no importance except in cases where one is breaking the news to a mother. In such cases one should begin with: Mrs. Gormley, your son has had an accident, or: Mrs. Gorml ey, your son is not so good, and then lead up gently to: He died only last week.The best way is often to omit only and use some other expression. Thus, instead of saying: He only died last week, one could say: It was no longer ago than last Thursday that George L. Wodolgoffing became an angel. Moreover, this is more explicit and eliminates the possibility of a misunderstanding as to who died.(James Thurber, Our Own Modern English Usage: Only and One. The New Yorker, February 23, 1929. Reprinted in The Owl in the Attic and Other Perplexities. Harper Brothers, 1931) Pronunciation: MIS-plast MOD-i-FI-er